Neighbourhood - Manchester

Neighbourhood has been on my ‘to visit’ list for some time now, securing a place through good reviews and some shameless self-promotion (restaurants, please do not retweet every tweet people make about hanging out with you, thanks); but each time I have ventured near, the overspill of leopard print, shiny suits and false nails pushes me on elsewhere.

Neighbourhood - with thanks to Likerish Split

A few weeks back I was taken there; wasn't my choice, but my new personal development challenge is to stop being a dining control freak – NEWS FLASH – I am letting other people choose where we  go to eat (sometimes) (and not making bitchy comments before we have, at least, eaten there). I can't say I still don't get sweaty palms doing this, but if the meal is a disaster I am no longer crushed by catholic levels of guilt for weeks after.

Neighbourhood is located on the outer edges of the corporate world of Spinningfields. Owned by those chaps at Southern Eleven (all meat, stripped wood and Americana), Neighbourhood has been designed to recreate the feel of a Manhattan neighbourhood bar; unfortunately, like Spinningfields itself, it's all a little too clean cut, carefully constructed and image conscious.



Underwhelming shrimps

Dining on a Tuesday night didn't feel very neighbourly, in fact we didn't have any neighbours at all; our waiter made up for that, his customer service was spot on, he knew the menu inside out and wasn't afraid to describe the negatives as well as the positives of the dishes – this service, coupled with the good reviews and enjoying the food at Southern Eleven, initially promised good things from the night to come.


The buttermilk fried Chicken Lollipops we had to start were sweet, moist and salty - all my food cravings rolled into one great little dish; I am underlining the word LITTLE here. We'd ordered the Shrimp, Crackle and Pop because it sounded fun, a case of 'shucks you are so cool for putting rice crispies in a dish' – what actually came to the table was not fun; an overly reduced bisque with a cloying, metallic taste (that tainted my mouth for the rest of the evening), two chewy prawns and some very soggy rice crispies. For £9.

Baked Lobster Mac 'n' Cheese has been the one dish receiving constant rave reviews, my twitter feed is littered with it, however our experience of it was anything other than rave. How Neighbourhood managed to create a dish of pasta that was simultaneously dry and chewy on top, whilst soggy and swimming in pasta water on the bottom, I have no idea. There was little sauce, any to be found was watery and under-seasoned; there was no hint of cheese and very little of lobster (two, chewy, tiny pieces) - at £15 the dish left a hole in both stomachs and wallets.



Rubbish picture, not much better dish

The Grilled Rock Bass with clams and spinach was the best dish of the evening, but don't take that as a ringing endorsement. The fish and clams were well cooked, obviously lobster mac chef didn't cook this one, but that was the only thing going for the dish. The accompanying sauce was so insipid it may have been better to leave it off as it was so unnoticeable, the spinach was limp, the taste akin to eating solidified dishwater and I doubt any salt had even been near the dish, let alone added to it.

Sweet tooth pizza - £15

For some reason we decided to stay for pudding; maybe it was hunger, maybe we wanted to find a saving grace, maybe I have such a dazzling personality (definitely not the latter – ed). We picked the Sweet Tooth Pizza to share; a car crash of brownies, marshmallows, pecans and caramel loaded onto a sweet pizza base. The base was overly chewy, the brownies overly dry - the marshmallow was nice and that's about it. At least this dish was big enough to fill us up.

Neighbourhood's menu promises taste, comfort and competent cooking - but just like Spinningfield itself and Neighbourhood's usual punters, the food is all about show rather than substance.



Price for two starters, two mains, a pudding and two glasses of wine: £71.50

Food - 4/10
Atmosphere - 5/10
Service - 7/10
Value for money - 3/10

Total 19/40

Go again? - No thanks, I'll stick to somewhere that knows money/looks aren't everything.

Neighbourhood, The Avenue, Spinningfields, Manchester – M3 3JE reservations@neighbourhoodrestaurant.co.uk – 0161 832 6334 - Twitter

www.neighbourhoodrestaurant.co.uk

Ski Club - Spinngfields, Manchester

Ok, so I’ve been lazy with the blog – sorry, I’ve been dealing with life by sticking my head in the sand and putting my fingers in my ears. Enough of the complaining (as I’ll be doing a lot of that in the following post, so get ready) – the recent wintry weather has stirred me to write up a night I was invited to at Ski Club; with snow on the ground, what an opportune time to share.

The Ski Club is the newest (although pretty old now, hey? – ed) pop-up concept from Heart Soul Rock & Roll; those people behind Spinningfield's summer pop-up, Yacht Club. Being canny to the fact that Manchester's inclement climate isn't conducive to high sales of booze in an outside, barely covered venue, they've moved indoors to Quay House and recreated the high life on the ski slopes a la 1972.

Ski Club - vintage slopes luxury, apparently - thanks to City Life

Wood clad, with leather seats and faux fur throws, coupled with dim lighting and vintage pictures of the slopes, the decor is meant to invoke the snug hillside cabins of St Moritz; unfortunately none of the styling perks up the rather cold and soulless space that Ski Club seems to be. Maybe I visited on the wrong night (seriously PR people, you're going to have a press night? Please make sure there’s some ambiance in the place you're trying desperately to sell us),  or maybe it’s just soulless; but three cocktails in and I was still shivering under my blanket.

Those aforementioned PR people had kindly invited a bunch of press/blogger types to come together for a tasting of the Ski Club’s fare in the hope we'd get busy writing gushing prose about. Bad move. What we were served at Ski Club can only be described as vile.

As you readers are aware, if I’m invited somewhere to eat, then I’ll judge that place harsher than somewhere I just rock up to and actually pay for my food at (yeah, I do pay for food you know...); if you know someone is there to review, you make damn sure everything is tip top standard. If you invite a whole crowd of reviewers (a la the Ski Club night), then you make sure the food and service is so damn hot I’m burning my fingers on it and talking about it for years to come.

Arancini snowballs

Porcini arancini balls were massive, almost snowball sized dusty abominations that tasted of gravel. Sundried tomato, mozzarella and pesto on a stick – meh, I could get that at Pesto and that’s not saying much. Some sort of sausage roll had greasy pastry as thick as rhino skin and the fondue? Well I've already discussed that before - but let's get it off my chest again because it was so disappointing - claggy, cold, contemptible.  The only edible eats were some cured meats - but if they'd fucked up opening the packet and plating it, then I'd be even more worried about what's happening in the kitchen than I already am.

Oh and a note to the Ski Club staff - if someone asks you if the food served is gluten free, and that person is sitting in the group of press you invited to see how amazing this place is, please have the decency to get back to that person whilst the food is still on the table and not after it has been cleared and they've gone hungry. Thanks.

If the food's not up to scratch then at least you can rely on the drinks right? There's a good choice of spirits and beers, plus some quirky cocktail concoctions; even a blue coconut thing (Tiffany and Coco) - stylish to look at, yes, but the flavours in all the drinks fell somewhat flat and were smothered by an overabundance of sweetness. Great if you have a sweet tooth - I prefer something a bit bitter, with a kick (says a lot for you personality - ed), rather than the nursery soothers served, but they seemed to go down well with others in the party.

Blue drink - no advisable to drink off or on the slopes

The ski club will be hanging around in Spinningfields (above Artzu Gallery) until March if you fancy warming your cockles after a day on out the slopes of Manchester's shopping streets - however I'll take my apres-ski elsewhere.

Ps The bar staff, in contrast to the waiting staff, were exceptional.

Food - 2/10
Atmosphere - 5/10
Service - 6/10 (score greatly increased by the bar staff)
Value for money - n/a

Total - 13/30

Go again? No thanks. I'll be interested to see what Heart Soul Rock & Roll dream up next, as Yacht Club was pretty decent. Let's hope this is a seasonal blip for them.

The Ski Club, Quay House,  Hardman Square, Spinningfields, Manchester M3 3JE - Facebook - Twitter - info@skiclub.co.uk

Please note I was invited to Ski Club as part of a press night and was given my food and drink for free. I am under no obligation to say anything nice in return for this - as is pretty evident from this review!

Blundell Arms - Horwich

There's nothing more rewarding after a long walk across the moors than a good pint supped in cosy, comfortable surroundings.

Certainly the Blundell Arms in Horwich, part of the Chef and Brewer chain, delivers on that front. It's close to the moors, has a roaring fire and there's plenty of exposed wood and warm colours to cosset you from the bleak expanses of heather and rocks that splay out from the back of the pub and there's always a good selections of traditional ales on tap that change often. They're not always local, but they're always pretty good.

Blundell Arms with thanks to Chef and Brewer

Great? No, not great. With a brand name including 'chef' in the title, the comfiness of the surroundings and the high standard of drink available, it would be a logical step to assume that the food would also be produced at an equally high standard.

Rocking up following a wet, after work walk, we chose hearty, warm food to chase away the chills; and indeed it was very warm. The food came out from the kitchen at such an extreme temperature that I can only guess it came from the electronic oven that goes ping, rather than being heated up conventionally/cooked fresh. The result was that we couldn't approach our food for a full five minutes. Ho hum.

Salty pie

The pie was more pastry than meat and what meat could be found in the middle had been heavily salted; which at least gave it more flavour, even if it was just one dominant, salty high note, than any of my dish put together. What lead me to order a curry in a pub I'm not sure, but it certainly was a mistake. On first impressions it did look good; two bowls of different curries, nann, rice and what looked like home made bharjis.

Tasteless curry

The meal is summarised thus - chickpea curry; thin, watery and tasted like a tomato cup-a-soup. Bharjis; oily, overcooked, stale tasting. Chicken curry; hotish, that’s about it – no layers of flavours, no fragrance. Nann: packet, cold. Mango chutney; famous green labelled brand name, at best. It's a travesty that this is being served up when the North has such a rich culinary heritage when it comes to Asian food and Spice Valley is churning out constantly good fare for less money only half a mile down the road.

Packet nann and rice

As our bellies still rumbled after this disaster of a meal, we took a chance and ordered something else off the menu. I wasn’t in the frame of mind that we should give this establishment any more money for food; however we were starving and it was included in a meal deal with the boy’s pie.

Never in my life has there been such a disparity in cooking between courses. The crumble was a bubbling dish of hot, cinnamony plums topped in a delicious, buttery crumble accompanied by very creamy, vanilla ice cream AND custard. A treat indeed!

Plum crumble

Looking over The Blundell Arm’s menu there’s the general feel that they’re trying to operate outside the usual pub realms, introduce people to new foods and offer over and above standard pub grub. There’s a highlight on seasonal ingredients; dishes using these are on a separate specials menu. There’s Fish Night and Game Night; the pub’s version of a tasting menu, five smaller courses for £20 introducing punters to wild boar and guinea fowl. All of which is to be applauded; however there’s no point trying out the clever stuff if you can’t get your basics right.

Cost for two mains, one pudding and two drink – £27.48

Food – 4/10
Service – 6/10
Atmosphere – 7/10
Value for money – 6/10

Total – 23/40

Go again? Yes for a pint after a walk as it really does suit it, plus there's a good view of the sunset; but we'd give the food a miss.

The Blundell Arms, Chorley Old Road, Horwich, Bolton BL6 6PY – 01204 898662
http://www.chefandbrewer.com/pub-food/blundell-arms-bolton-horwich/pid-P1527

The Beeches - Standish, Wigan

I am highly suspicious of a place that offers an overly extensive menu, how does the kitchen keep so many ingredients fresh and concentrate on so many dishes?

The Beeches at Standish is one of these places; the menu itself is rather long, however this is accompanied by a 'specials' board that is actually longer than the standard menu. Something seemed afoot and it wasn't just the dated carpet, soulless dining room or house wine that took the enamel off our teeth.

Bog standard interior - design style 'labour club'

Scanning the menu highlighted the kitchen's trick - repetition. Many dishes were either similar reincarnations; chicken New Yorker (cheese, bacon and BBQ sauce topping) becomes steak New Yorker, or different dishes are served with the same sauces; for a large menu there was surprisingly little choice.

Black pudding with onion gravy - the most ugly dish ever served?

Starters arrived and we were duly impressed and disappointed. Size is not an issue at The Beeches; indeed Legal Eagle's Beeches Platter was so large the rest of us shared it and it would have done myself and the boy for a Saturday afternoon lunch.

Beeches platter - large, but poor quality ingredients

The mussels were surprisingly well cooked although not served with mariniere sauce chosen, rather a thick, creamy, lumpy, tasteless mushroom sauce that was so hot I can only guess how it was heated. This sauce was not advertised on the menu (choice of mariniere, provencale or mild curry) and was presented to me as (viz waiter), "a beautiful white wine and garlic sauce, madam." I do not want to cast aspersions on the taste/level of culinary knowledge of the Beeches' usual patrons; but a kitchen that sends out one dish as another must have neither respect or care. (Surprisingly the dining room was quite full for most of the evening).

Well cooked mussels with mushroom sauce marauding as mariniere

Mains also showed a distinct lack of consideration; my medium rare fillet came out blue with a fridge cold middle, accompanied by anemic, greasy button mushrooms. The boy's lamb wrapped in bacon was an ugly, phallic like dish - thick, low quality, flabby bacon wrapped around an overcooked, tough piece if lamb. The dish was indeed an insult to both animals that had died to make it and to us as customers.

Lamb wrapped in bacon

We declined to have pudding and left thankfully left at the end of the main courses, muttering that we would not return again!

Price for four starters, four mains, four glasses of house wine and four pints: £111.30

Food: 4/10
Service: 6/10
Atmosphere: 5/10
Value for money: 4/10

Total: 19/40

Go again? No - the prices are expensive for such rubbish food. Indeed the portions are large, but it's just a case of quantity over quality. Never again shall I venture here, be warned!

Ps - if you do wish to visit, The Beeches runs a shorter, special menu with two courses for £8.95. I suspect this and the large portions is what makes The Beeches attractive to its clientele. Even for this price I wouldn't be tempted back.

The Stables Brasserie, The Beeches, School Lane, Standish, Wigan WN6 0TD - 01257 426432 - mail@beecheshotel.co.uk

http://www.beecheshotel.co.uk/brasserie/home_brasserie.asp

Avanti - Heaton Moor, Stockport

There’s one thing Italian’s do well and that’s style; from the matching all in ones of the ski slope, to the famous fashion house of Milan. Thinking of stylish eateries they have cool, airy rooms full of white tablecloths and glistening silverware, wafts of lemon and fig float in through the billowing white curtains and men stand in stylishly cut suits, smoking on the terrace overlooking the vibrant blue sea.

Avanti exterior - with thanks to dineavanti.co.uk

So when an Italian restaurant markets itself as ‘vibrant,’ ‘stylish’ and ‘Stockport’s finest,’ I go expecting Sophia Loren and Marcello Mastroianni sipping espressos and discussing the finer points of tailoring.

Avanti, Heaton Moor, is none of the above and if it’s the best Italian in Stockport then I don’t want even want to consider eating at the others.

Initially the evening looked good. Staff were friendly and fetched drinks whilst we waited for latecomers. Starters arrived and were decent enough: my king prawn crostini was full of loud punchy flavours finished off with a decent helping of lemon. Meatballs were soft, tender and enrobed in a garlicky sauce redolent of something homemade.

King prawn crostini

Just as we were pootling along on this not-very-adventurous-but-alright-for-a-high-street meal, the mains arrived and the evening’s gastronomic happiness took a turn for the worse.

I’ve eaten in Brewers Fayres and pubs with carveries, so I know food can be crap; but I pay £5.95 for that pleasure and not what I was paying at Avanti. The chicken wrapped in parma ham was very dry, lamb shanks tasted of an overly sweet mint sauce, seemed like they had been bought in, plus were chewy and dry (how you get a shank to be dry I’m not sure). My main of seabass was terribly overcooked – the fish dry and flaky, dumped on some poorly seasoned mash with a raggle taggle of greasy sundried tomatoes and olives. All dishes apart from some vegetarian pancakes were poorly constructed, poorly presented and poorly executed.

Over cooked seabass

And do I really need to bother describing the puddings? Let’s just say they were bought in and awful.

Very cakey, obviously bought in: the boy's sticky toffee pudding (in an Italian? Indeed!)

Avanti in Heaton Moor is not ‘stylish,’ the décor is boring to say the least; rather like a high street coffee chain. It’s not ‘vibrant’ either – yes the atmosphere was ok, but there was no buzzing fug emanating from the place. And I will probably guess its not the best in Stockport either - I'd go as far as to say the Pizza Hut would probably be better than this.

To sum up I’m not going to go back to Avanti, there are plenty of better places serving much better food across the city and the North West. And there probably are in Heaton Moor as well.

Price for a starter, main and pudding – £25

Food – 4/10
Atmosphere – 6/10
Service – 5/10
Value for money – 5/10

Total – 20/40

Go again? No, rather go to the chippy up the street!

Avanti Restaurant and Grill, 1 Moorside Road, Heaton Moor, Stockport SK4 4DT - 0161 443 3123
info@dineavanti.co.uk

http://www.dineatavanti.co.uk/home/index.php

Rigalettos - Wigan

I'm not one for the beautiful game and I'm not one for rugby league, so I wasn't really excited about the prospect of eating in a football/rugby stadium: let alone one five minutes from where I work. However it was the Scouser's leaving do and I had hopes it may be a la Delia and the whole Canary Restaurant at Norwich City thing.

On pulling up I instantly knew this was no Delia. Rigalettos is located in the base of the stadium so it can be accessed when the stadium isn't open. The sign looked cheap and old and as I walked in the door so did the restaurant. Decked out as a Blackpool re-imagining of a 90s cartoon Italian trattoria - here was hoping that the food would be authentic trattoria. Unfortunately the food wasn't authentic, I wouldn't even class it as food.

We'd opted to keep it cheap and were dining off the early bird menu - even at that price the food was dire. I'd like to try and pick out a dish that at least shone through as a glimmer of hope in the whole evening; but I can't even say that of the drinks, let alone the food.

I ordered the bruschetta to start but was instead presented with two overly greasy pieces of garlic bread, dripping with oil, not tasting of garlic and with an insulting amount of insipid, cotton wool tomato mixed in with large chunks of onion. I won't even discuss the pointless, limpid lettuce on the side. The other Scouser's starter of garlic mushrooms were pale and I wouldn't call putting one in my mouth actual tasting as there wasn't any there.

Bruschetta - well Rigalettos' sorry excuse for one

For mains I'd ordered the seafood linguine and thought for the £1 surcharge I'd be on to a winner. Wrong. The pasta was terribly overcooked and soggy, the tomato sauce was under-seasoned and tasteless - almost as if it was just a thickened can of chopped tomatoes. And the seafood? I've eaten some terrible seafood in my time but this was actually inedible. The calamari was akin to chewing on tyres and the mussels had become hard and chalky; I think there may have been some tinned tuna in there but I really can't say. Needless to say I ate less that a third of the dish.

Seafood linguine - nearly as much as you see in this picture

was returned to the kitchen

I declined to spend the extra pound and order pudding, but in the spirit of gastronomic investigation on behalf of you, dear readers, I nicked some brownie off the Scotsman and all I can say is that the raspberries were nice.

I'm trying really hard to find something positive to say here - but they charged me over £8 for a G+T made with Beefeater and a glass of cheap white, so I'm struggling here. Er - the toilets were clean and the service was alright.

In all I wouldn't return to Rigalettos even if I was starving or needed somewhere to hide out whilst being chased by dissident rebel fighters. Rigalettos needs to make over it's sad, tired image and get someone who can actually knows what Italian food, or even cooking is, in the kitchen.

As fellow blogger Northern Food warned, "you'd be better sticking to balti pies in the stadium," too true.

Price for early bird menu - £8.95 for two courses, £9.95 for three (beware some of the dishes have a £1 surcharge).

Food - 1/10
Service - 6/10
Atmosphere - 3/10
Value for money - 3/10

Total - 13/40

Rigaletto's, DW Stadium, Loire Drive, Robin Park, Wigan WN5 0UH - 01942 774000
http://www.dwstadium.co.uk/rigalettos.phpdwstadium.co.uk/rigalettos.php

Vermillion - Manchester

Readers I have a confession to make - I've visited Vermilion before and I had such an awful experience I swore I would never cross the threshold again. However, Best Friend wanted to spend her birthday there, and who was I to tell her the food was awful, the music was too loud, they refused to serve me tap water and the attitude of the staff would make Gandhi go postal.

In the belief of second chances, fair trials and being grown up about things, I promise I will leave that experience at the door whilst reviewing this time.

Vermilion and Cinnabar (to give it it's proper name) is situated out near Sports City in Manchester. From the outside Vermilion looks exactly like a warehouse, and the surrounding area is a mix of industrial, council estate, new housing and the City football ground.  It was initially built in anticipation of the super casino, the plans for this have been shelved.

Vermilion Cinnabar outside - with thanks to the dailymail.co.uk

I have never entered a Bond Villian’s den, nor a Wag’s bedroom, but would not be shocked if they were identical to the décor inside Vermilion. Walls are decked out in black veneer with low level orange lighting and intricately carved wooden patterns. The greeting staff seem to be comprised of mysterious, long legged, beautiful East European ice maidens who, with minimal interaction, immediately whisk parties up to the bar in an incense laden, silent lift.

Walking out into the bar area you are greeted by a long bar made to look like ice opening out into an even lower lit seating area comprising bookable fibre glass pods and other seating. A large column of up-light Buddha’s heads breaks through the floor and drops into the dining room below.

Cinnabar - with thanks to mrdaz.com

The bar was as silent as the staff save for the thudding dance music, I must note we were there early Saturday at 6pm.

Without a word we were immediately taken down to our table without the offer of a drink, once more in the over powering lift – even though the dining room is a mere floor below. We did ask to walk down the stairs, however we were declined.

The dining room is again decked out like an upper class tart's boudoir; low lighting, swivel chairs, marble, black veneer and strong incense. We had booked in for the early menu (I wasn't paying what I had previously paid for a meal that had the potential to be bad).

Vermilion Restaurant  - with thanks to Trip Advisor

It was not until the rest of our companions arrived (about ten minutes later), that we were offered drinks - here was the test, would they refuse tap water as before, even after I had got the manager involved? Birthday girl looked on in trepidation as I dared to ask for a glass of corporation pop; and to my relief (and that of the rest of the table), my order was taken and brought back without any quibble, I even got ice!

The early bird menu does not offer much choice, offering just five starters, five mains and three puddings compared to the fourteen pages of the a la carte/set menus.

After placing our order we hardly caught a breath before an amuse bouche arrived; a tiny samosa. Unfortunately it didn't amuse much – although presented mostly well the pastry was a bit thick, soft and with a spiced middle with the underlying taste of stale meat.

With quite a few vegetarians in the group we politely asked if the samosas were vegetarian and were reassured three times, by three different staff members that these were vegetarian - 'a type of pea, madam.' I must say it was the meatiest pea I had ever eaten.

Luckily, us carnivores in the group had started first, we complained twice, and finally a small plate was thrust in front of the veggies. This was a motley collection of flame sultanas, croutons that tasted of stale oil, soft cashews and a sweet, cloying mango chutney that tasted very much as if it had come out of a well-known, green labelled jar. A confused and unamusing concoction if I ever saw one.

Starters came out quite quickly and I was glad I ordered the Yam Ped (grilled duck breast salad with roasted herbs, served with chicory petal).  Beautifully displayed, though I could see no chicory petal or roasted herbs (with the level of lighting in the restaurant this wasn't surprising). The dish packed a sour punch with a contrasting crunch from the tamarind dressing compared to the duck which was meltingly soft, if not pink enough for my taste.

Yam Ped

Just as I was finishing my dish was whisked away from me whilst my companions were still dining; maybe Bond Villain was becoming bored with our presence, or maybe the restaurant was filling up and us early diners were not welcome any more?

Mains followed swiftly, unlike the starters these weren't presented in any delicate manner - school dinner-esque as I think Birthday Girl mentioned. Whereas I was very satisfied with the Yam Ped, my dish of Pad Thai Khoong Sod - stir fried rice noodles with prawns and tamarind sauce - was lacklustre, under seasoned with tough prawns and greasy noodles.

Course Mate's Veg Thai Green Curry (Kheang Keiaw Waan Jay) was an overly hot dish with a watery sauce - indeed the heat seemed to make up for the lack of flavour and depth,  accompanied by awfully disappointing rice - claggy, cold and over done - I won't go on.

Pad Thai Khoong Sod

Token Boy's Nue Pad Nam Hey (Stir Fried Beef and Oyster Sauce) was best described as flabby. I've had better from the greasy chinese round the corner at the end of the night, when drunk, and after I've left it to go cold.

The only redeeming main was Birthday Girl's Chicken Karahi - succulent, aromatic, deep flavoured, wonderful.

Again plates were cleared from the table whilst most of the party were still eating. We asked the waiting staff to stop but they carried on until Birthday Girl very firmly asked them to stop (she can be quite firm!). We relaxed and thought this was the end of premature plate clearing, however Bond Villain’s minions once again swooped in even though three were still eating – at this point we’d been in the restaurant for a mere 35 minutes, hardly out-staying our welcome.

Pudding came out quickly and some who had not ordered before the meal asked if they could in fact order some now,  'you should have ordered at the beginning,' was the courteous answer. Thankfully they were saved the boredom of the puddings: the fruit salad was just fruit in a bowl and the mango cheesecake could have come out of a packet.

To sum up Vermilion it seems to be all looks and no substance - a place where people go to be seen rather than eat the food. Yes the restaurant was designed by Miguel Cancio Martins (Buddha Bar, Man Ray and Opium) and is described as ‘the most luxurious and opulent restaurant and bar in Manchester…(a) lavish hidden gem.’ But like the Wags of Manchester City and casino goers it seeks to attract it is nothing more than style over substance and I wish it would stay hidden.

Please visit this place if you really enjoy flashing cash to impress, spray tans, leopard print, cleavage on show coupled with short skirts, high prices and bookable pods that come with thudding music and Verve. If you enjoy good food, courteous service and substance then please stay away.

Pre-theatre early bird menu everyday between 5 and 7pm –

2 courses for £12

3 courses for £15

Described as ‘for those in a rush…luxury food, service and atmosphere before the theatre..’ Indeed rushed, but in now way luxury in any category.

NB - although which theatre you will be attending near to Sport City I have no idea, unless you believe football to be the theatre of the masses.

Value for money: 4/10

Atmosphere: 5/10

Service: 2/10

Food: 4/10

Total: 14/40

Vermilion and Cinnabar, Hulme Hall Lane/Lord Street North, Sport City, Manchester M40 8AD – 0161 225 0055

reservations@vermilioncinnabar.com